I'm Kind of a Big Deal
When I was a little girl I knew I was destined for greatness. I would do interviews in the bathroom for hours on end. They always asked, "How does it feel to have finally made it." I always had a humble brag answer. I just knew I was going to do something great!
Back then I contemplated become President, an actress, and a fashion designer among various other careers. I settled on lawyer for a long time but that faded also. The world began to tell me who it thought I was and who it did not believe me to be. I believed it. I began to internalize all the labels, criticisms, hopelessness and unworthiness.
With out going on and on about the details of the in betweens. I went from the girl who KNEW she was awesome and was destined for greatness to someone who didn't feel worthy of life. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, an eating disorder, alcohol abuse and more became my new normal.
THEY. WERE. RIGHT.
Just kidding. They were so wrong! Now, is my career anything I thought it would be back then no! I did become a wife, a mom, a School Psychologist and a really good person. It took a long time to break free from that. It's not easy and may be never-ending.
I took the long road. The stories are many and some are not so flattering, shameful even. However, I am finally realizing my greatness does not depend on the views and opinions of others. I struggle with anxiety like no other but maybe having accomplished all I have despite that, is what makes me great?